Monthly Archives: May 2016

Endometriosis: Is it Coming Back?

It’s 2 am and I’m sitting here wondering: Is the endometriosis coming back? Little by little, the pain has started to return with each subsequent cycle that I have had since Rachel was born. I sat up in bed last night and a very sharp pain in my lower right side took my breath away for a few minutes. The same pain had occurred the day before. There is now a dull ache in my side, almost like my ovary is tacked up against my abdominal wall. It’s a pain I am all too well familiar with.

The other thought I had, which seems much more unlikely, was an ectopic pregnancy. I only have one fallopian tube, and I’m pretty sure it’s mostly or completely blocked, based on the last hysterosalpinogram I had years ago. Although I am high risk for an ectopic pregnancy, it’s seems pretty unlikely that I’d been feeling pain from such this early on in my cycle (I think I’m on CD 25).

I’m tempted to feel frustrated that I seem to have crazy aggressive endometriosis, but miraculously we have two children (despite thinking I would need a hysterectomy 3 years ago). If there’s anything I’m learning these days, it’s that the past does not necessarily predict the future, and despite my best guess– I actually have no idea what God has for our future. I’m learning to stop making assumptions. So I don’t know if this means that more exams, ultrasounds and surgeries are in my immediate future. I don’t know if it means we will be able to have more children. But I do know that God can do anything, and that His plan is always best. (And His plans are usually a complete shock to me.)

In the meantime, I’m attempting to wean Rachel. The reasons for this are complicated and varied, and it’s going about as well as trying to get a lion to go on a vegetarian diet. She wants nothing to do with either the bottle or formula. She just wants to nurse, and it makes it doubly hard for this mama to see that. Weaning Josh was hard and yet still much easier than this, so I am not sure of the path forward from here. We’ve tried just about every trick in the book. I’m warming up formula at the moment that I’m 99% positive she will reject (but like I said, I don’t know the future!). Maybe this time she’ll take it. Or maybe we’ll still be at this in a few weeks — please say a prayer for us!







Filed under Baby, Endometriosis

One Trip I Want to Remember

Since having kids, there have been entire trips as well as segments of trips that I wouldn’t mind too much if I permanently forgot about them. However, our trip to Monterey last weekend was definitely not one of them! We had such a great time!

I planned and booked this trip because my mom and sister rarely get a break from their busy lives and responsibilities. My sister returns overseas in less than two months, and she’ll be gone for over three years. A lot happens in three years. I wanted some good memories from their time in the U.S. to help me make it through their long upcoming absence. (I invited my little sister to come as well, but she was already booked for the weekend with other things.)

As it turned out, Monterey was a wonderful place to visit! I’ll probably come back and read this blog post in a year or two when I’m really missing my sister because she has been gone for so long. So I’m not holding back: I’m going to post a ton of pictures!

I forgot how pretty is was in Monterey. It had been at least 15 years since I had spent much time there.


The first thing when we arrived was check out the motel suite and give Rachel a break from the long car ride. She had cried the last 45 minutes or so of the car ride. The motel was older but well maintained. I was really glad I rented a suite so that Rachel could nap and go to bed on time in a dark room and the rest of us could still hang out and visit.


We made sure she got enough exercise in between being carried in the front pack, being held and riding in the car.


If you ever go to Monterey, you should check out the antique mall. It’s huge! We didn’t even make it through the entire place in the 1.5 hours we were there. My mom treated my sister and I to each an antique piece for mother’s day, and my mom bought this giant metal bunny for her yard. (Sounds odd but it was really cute– you’d have to see it to understand what I’m talking about….)


Antique mall = stuff everywhere!

Antique mall = stuff everywhere!

After the antique mall we wondered around Cannery Row and decided on where to eat dinner.

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Dinner was really nice. Such a treat!

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We headed back to the suite and I put Rachel down for the night. My sister and I went on a walk on the beach (which took about 5 minutes by foot to get there) and my mom stayed behind and worked on knitting a new sweater for Rachel.


It was so gorgeous! I wasn’t expecting the white sand like they have in Florida…


There wasn’t much wind and surprisingly, despite all the rain that day, it wasn’t very cold. I couldn’t believe how peaceful it was.


Back at the suite, my mom and sister headed out to buy some walking shoes for my mom (which they found for only $10!) and returned home with Moose Tracks for dessert. All of us went to bed fairly exhausted that night!

The next morning my sister took Rachel on a walk in the front pack while I savored an uninterrupted time in my Bible. After breakfast, we all took a nice long walk on the beach. The weather was so nice! It looked like rain was coming any minute, yet the sunlight was shining through the clouds in some places and it was comfortably warm.







From the beach, we then headed into Monterey proper to swing by the antique mall one last time and then to fisherman’s wharf to eat lunch. It was fun to eat just above the water! This was our view:


And then we began the long trek home. It was a wonderful time of good conversation, prayer, laughter and food (that I didn’t have to cook). I’m so thankful for our time at the coast and the ability to get away.

When I pulled into our driveway, I was warmly greeted by a toddler who was doing his best to jump up and down in excitement to see me and a semi-sick husband who graciously held down the fort in my absence. I am so blessed!

“The sea is His, for He made it, and His hands formed the dry land.”

Psalm 95:5


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Going Away

I’m going away. To the coast of California, where there will be fog and cool morning air and a vast ocean and waves to make me think about the enormity of God. And there will be fellowship. I’ll be going with one of my sisters and my mom. (And let’s not forget Rachel!) There will be nice restaurants, walks along the beach, and maybe some antique shopping. It’s a girls’ getaway, and to say I’m excited about it would be an understatement.

Additionally, the hubby and I are set to go on a super fancy date tonight. Thanks to his employer, we have reservations at a restaurant that we would normally not be able to afford. Of course I used the occasion as an excuse to buy a new dress and sweater. This girl can’t wear old shirts and running shorts every day of her life!

Mother’s day is coming up and I have one word: Grateful. Grateful for God’s mercy on me. Grateful for my husband and kids. Grateful that this Mother’s day I am not asking God, “How much longer, O Lord?” Grateful for a getaway to the ocean with people I love. Grateful that I get to take a sweet, happy baby along with me.

And let’s not mince words. I’m beyond grateful that Rachel just started sleeping through the night!!!!




Filed under Baby, Motherhood