Settling In

Per usual fashion, I have about 3 minutes to type until the kids get up from their naps.

We are slowly settling into our new home. We still have a list a mile long of things we need to repair or replace, but we’re taking it at a much slower pace. We do have mold, predominantly in our kitchen area. We know there were leaks under the sink and under the fridge, and there’s still a lot of moisture showing up there under the laminate. We’re guessing that’s where the mold is (which, by the way, is not ultra high levels and also not TOXIC mold, praise God!). So bye-bye laminate flooring – it will need to be pulled up. I’m batting for tile so we can never worry about leaking anything for a long, long time. We have to replace the counter/sink/faucet/garbage disposal (which is leaking at the moment) as well, and so with a rather long list of needed repairs to get rid of mold, I’ve picked up quite a few night shifts at the hospital. I’m thankful for such a great job, which lets me work the spectrum of hours.

I’ve got up Costco’s awesomely massive Christmas wreath on our front door and some decorations on the fireplace mantle (thanks to Target’s $1 aisle). We’re on the fence about putting up the Christmas tree this year. 14 month old Rachel is active, determined, and in no way, shape or form a quitter. She will pull that tree down as fast and as hard as she can make it happen! Even so, I still think we shouldn’t skip out on the tree this year though. We might have to get creative.

img_20161201_150200

Target’s $1-$3 aisle is all really cute stuff right now.

Life with these two kiddos is so busy. I have no idea how people have 2 toddlers plus older kids at home and don’t lose their minds. Maybe it’s Rachel’s age and stage at the moment- I’m not sure?

Some of Rachel’s most favorite activities include:

  • Getting into Josh’s diaper pail.
  • Trying to get Josh’s dirty diaper away from Mom before she throws it into the diaper pail.
  • Taking wipes away from Mom while she is trying to change Josh’s diaper.
  • Eating Mom’s dirty socks.
  • Eating Mom’s dirty shoes.
  • Throwing food off of high chair tray.
  • Smearing food-laden greasy hands through hair (as many times as possible to complete the “look”).
  • Sucking on shampoo bottle.
  • Playing with toilet lid.
  • Bursting into brother’s room while he’s napping, or at least screeching loudly outside his door.
  • Snuggling with Mom.
  • Giggling and laughing while ANYONE pays attention to her.
  • Eating “special treats” after dinner (this girl loves M&M’s).

So you see, this girl keeps us on our toes (but also keeps a smile on our faces). Her big brother Josh, who will be 3 in March, puts up with his sister’s shenanigans fairly well for the time being. Occasionally he is provoked a little too much and he snaps back at her. He loves her though and is a good helper. I really love the times I get to spend just with Josh. He is learning and growing so much and it is really fun to discover a little bit of how his brain works (ahem.. a lot like his father’s.)

Well, the timer’s going off, and if I don’t get Josh up he’ll take forever to fall asleep tonight.

Hope you have a great rest of your week!

img_20161113_162112

Don’t be fooled, that headband lasted about 3 seconds.

Isn't this the cutest little bench?

Isn’t this the cutest little bench?

Leave a comment

Filed under Life

Unwanted Weight Loss

I really hope and pray this post is not self-serving. I know many who feel sick most of the time, for reasons still unknown. As someone who has dealt with years of progressing endometriosis pain and now years of food intolerance and allergies, I get it. I have learned that I must be mindful to not allow pain, illness or the drive to find a cure to consume me. So I  write this post timidly, because although I’m confused and a little bewildered, in the grand scheme of things it’s really quite inconsequential.

____________________________________________________

Unwanted weight loss. Now that’s not a title I ever expected to type! I’m quickly approaching my mid 30’s, and being post-baby #2, I really thought the baby weight would be more stubborn.

Although I have been the same weight for my ENTIRE adult life (excluding pregnancies, obviously), I have now dropped 16 pounds below that. I’ve been losing anywhere from 1-4 pounds a month while TRYING to gain weight.

I was sick for several months with joint pain, heartburn, constant belly pain, no appetite, and very low energy. This started in February, after I had a brief stomach flu.  I also was having cramping pretty often throughout the month, and was afraid the Endometriosis was rearing it’s ugly head again. I went to my GP twice and had multiple workups done. By the second GP visit I was down 9 pounds from my baseline weight. I was worked up for gall bladder disease (labs and an ultrasound), Lyme’s disease, Rheumatoid arthritis (which runs in my family), Lupus, and thyroid issues (and probably some others that I forgot). And praise God- all the labs came back within normal limits.

But I was at my wit’s end with feeling terrible, and out of desperation I decided to try cutting out all gluten and dairy again (this is my third stint over the years) on August 1st. After all, my Dad can’t tolerate gluten and my sister can’t tolerate gluten or dairy. I decided it was time to accept the fact that I might as well be in the same predicament. So I cut gluten and dairy out and I felt really terrible for another 3 weeks and then BAM! I felt normal again, and the joint pain went away.

I also weaned Rachel around this time and expected my metabolism to slow down a bit.

I was wrong. My weight loss really started to skyrocket. Complicated diets make eating… well, complicated. I’m thankful for the easy solution to feeling better, but man, coming up with stuff to eat (when you lack a good appetite and don’t love to cook) is difficult for me.

Last week, I made a concerted effort to eat as much as possible. One day, I remember eating 1/2  bag of potato chips in addition to meals and other snacks. And let’s not forget that it was Thanksgiving last week and that I polished off more than 1/2 of a gluten & dairy free apple pie (thanks to my Mom for making it!). So I was pretty perplexed when I hopped on the scale Sunday to see that I had lost another 2 pounds in a single week.

I’m ok with being thin, and I know there are many people who would love to have my problem. But I’m just not sure where this weight loss thing will end, and that scares me.  I imagine it’s got to be just as maddening for someone to work out and eat carefully, only to hop on the scale and realize that they’re only gaining weight. It feels like your body is making a huge mistake!

So please forgive my whiny post about wasting away for no good reason (that I can come up with, at least!). I’ll leave you a few pics of the kiddos and the park nearby.

img_20161121_160945

img_20161121_161242

img_20161127_163100

 

 

 

 

 

4 Comments

Filed under Endometriosis, Food Intolerance, Pain

Moving Houses & A One Year Old’s Belated Party

I am very behind on blogging!

I guess that’s what happens when you suddenly decide to put your house on the market and move to another town? But I’m getting ahead of myself. Flipping the calendar back, let’s land on September when Rachel turned one.

We had a little party at my folk’s house (which is an hour away).

dsc_0623 dsc_0626 dsc_0627 dsc_0628

Glad we got some pictures because I can’t even remember what we served for lunch. It appears that we had Mexican food!

Rachel did great and never shed a tear until nap time came around. She’s our social butterfly!

dsc_0641

dsc_0621

Blowing out the candle (by Mom, of course). dsc_0651

Digging into her cupcake. Pretty sure that was her first cupcake ever! She loved it.

dsc_0657

That was followed by opening a pile of really fun baby girl gifts. This girl got showered in adorable clothes this year! Also, her Daddy and  I made her a dollhouse.  I got the idea from another blog.

 

img_20161117_1405101

Then we stumbled upon a house owned by a friend of my hubby’s parents. The house was ten minutes from hubby’s work, on 1/2 acre, and close to a park. It was a little older than our current house, and needed some work, but it was also bigger. The house, because we’d forgo using a realtor, was actually in our price range. So we decided to go for it. We worked like crazy and got our house on the market in two (TWO!) days. It sold in 4 days, and what a HUGE blessing that was, because trying to keep a pristine house with two toddlers was nearly impossible. I found myself saying the most ridiculously thing to the kids, like “Why are you touching that TOY?!”

We we able to start working on our new house before we moved in (thanks to it being owned at the time by a really nice guy) and we scraped popcorn ceilings in the bedrooms, bathroom and master closet. Then we painted almost the ENTIRE house inside – ceilings and all! We got the carpet replaced (because there had been pets and it didn’t smell so great) and my hubby got started replacing baseboards (the old/current ones were foam/vinyl). Before we moved in, I chalk painted all of the kitchen cabinets. My father in law installed some new lights and fans. My parents worked like dogs too, coming over several times a week to scrape ceilings, paint, dismantle a deck, clean out gutters, paint some more, etc. In was a TON of work, and hubby and I burned the midnight oil for a couple of weeks with me leaving the house a bit after 5 am to work on the house and he staying after work really late most days. If I wasn’t working on the new house, I was at the old house packing and trying to keep two toddlers busy/happy.

I ‘ll have to post some before and after pics of the house soon. There’s a lot still that is unfinished. But here’s one of the kitchen (picture from before we bought the house):

img_20160918_113730

Today: It’s underexposed because at the moment we don’t have much lighting in the kitchen (it’s getting replaced).

img_20161117_1424501

We had to replace the oven and microwave, because you couldn’t actually *open* the old dishwasher due to the old oven’s configuration (the oven’s bottom handle was in the way). The old microwave’s vent was busted, so we replaced the microwave.

img_20161117_1424361

We plan to replace counter tops and the sink soon. There’s a leak related to the garbage disposal under the sink, so that will need to be dealt with as well.

And just in case you think our lives are like Pollyanna (which I’m sure you could say they are compared to some!) we did encounter some rough patches while moving! The night before we moved, someone busted the side garage door of our new house and stole my hubby’s drill and my father in law’s saw out of the garage. But they would have had access to the house too, because the door to the house had been unlocked. I had entered the house early that morning after the tools were stolen, although unbeknownst to me (with the kids) and was SO thankful there was no one here in the house when we walked in! Creepy! I also had a flat tire that morning that was repaired, but hubby got a flat tire a few days later and had to buy a new set of tires. And at the end of moving day, I noticed that our fridge was really hot on the exterior and not keeping up temperature-wise. It was also making an electrical burning-type smell. We lost all our food because by the time we realized the fridge was toast, all the food in the freezer had thawed. We ended up needing to buy a new fridge!

And tomorrow, we’re having our house tested for mold, because hubby has become mildly wheezy since moving in. We just need to know for sure.

There’s about 100 other things that need to be done at this new house, but it’s in a nice neighborhood and I love the house and yard. I don’t mind work in general, whether it’s indoors or outdoors. I like to have lots to do! Also, I am loving only being ten minutes from hubby’s work (as opposed to 40-45 mins) and all of the space here!

Hopefully we haven’t bought a money pit. I’m looking to the Lord to give me peace as we try to find inexpensive ways to tackle projects around here.

More on that later! Nap time here is over. May the Lord bless you and your week!

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A Week in Australia

As it turns out, I lied in my previous blog post. Rachel DID NOT travel with me to Australia. I went alone! This had to do with a huge hold up in her visa. Turns out that one parent traveling with a child without the other parent is kind of a big deal. We had to get her birth certificate notarized, as well as other forms that documented my husband giving the approval for her to leave with me. We didn’t receive her visa in time, and as of today we STILL have yet to receive her visa! It was costly and very frustrating to say the least! We talked and prayed about it and decided that we had already invested too much into the trip and that I should just go anyhow. My hubby steeled himself for a week alone with the kids and we just figured that God had a reason for things turning out the way they did.

So when my suitcase (borrowed from my parents) busted at the Brisbane airport and I was stuck carrying it (40+ pounds – with the handle also jammed in the “up” position), I was pretty glad I wasn’t also carrying Rachel in the front pack as well as all of her milk/diapers/sippy cups, etc. And when we took ferries and buses and walked for miles and miles and toured several museums while in Brisbane – I was also glad we weren’t having to scale it way back to allow for naps and early bedtimes. And when my flight got delayed in Vancouver for 4 hours after NOT SLEEPING at all on the long 13 hour flight home, and the trip home from the airport was really long (3 hours) due to horrible traffic,  I was also VERY GLAD she wasn’t stuck in the airport and car with me. As much as I was really sad to leave her home, I was glad in the end that it worked out the way it had. Perhaps it was due to utter exhaustion on my part by the end of the trip!

Some highlights from the trip:

 -Getting to hang out with my nephews. Love these kiddos so much. 

img_20160905_205805 img_20160905_205752

-Getting to spend lots of time with my sis. I sure do value time with that girl, and boy do I ever learn heaps about godly parenting from her! Here we are at the botanical gardens (free and BEAUTIFUL!). 

img_20160907_094144

-Banyan Fig tree at the botanical gardens. Super massive and cool.

img_20160907_095813

-Getting to ride the free ferry just about everywhere we wanted to go. The weather was very comfortable so it was almost never chilly. We always sat on the top!

img_20160907_090630 img_20160907_130214

-Incredible sunset while waiting for the ferry one day. I wished I had brought my nice camera more than once!

img_20160908_171343

-Visiting the MacArthur Museum. A piece of history I knew very little about.

img_20160908_135621

img_20160908_135922

-My sister had a medical appointment so I took the kids to the Science Centre. It was a little young for the kids but they still had a lot of fun.

img_20160907_135102

-Visiting a Maritime Museum. They had an old warship that they let us explore on every deck and room. The kids really loved it.

img_20160906_152320

-We took a couple of buses to get to the Koala Sanctuary. WOW! So many incredible animals there!

img_20160909_142655 img_20160909_133906

-It never crossed my mind that I’d be petting kangaroos… and it wasn’t like there was a zookeeper breathing down my neck, either. There was an entire field full of kangaroos and people could come and go and pet the kangaroos as they pleased! (And no, we didn’t have to sign waivers, either.)

img_20160909_130538 img_20160909_130554

-Seeing the mama with her joey was really fun. Marsupials are very interesting!

img_20160909_131014 img_20160909_131022

-We took the free ferry at night (it runs until midnight) through all of its stops and just enjoyed the boat ride, the city lights, and all the bridges we went under. It was rainy and a little chilly, but really fun.

img_20160909_184716

And when I finally got home, exhausted and jet lagged, I arrived to happy kids and a husband who had flowers waiting for me. Talk about spoiled! I missed them all so much.

As a wife and mom of two young children, I find it pretty odd that I went to Australia for a week all by myself– it was definitely against the grain for me to do something like that. In fact, I cried when I learned that Rachel’s visa wouldn’t be coming in time! But after a week of learning about completely new things and gaining new perspectives in parenting, and having more quiet time to pray and really think– I came home very refreshed, and I can’t say that it wasn’t a good thing for any of us. Once again, I am reminded that the Lord knows what we need before we do!

 

 

 

3 Comments

Filed under Traveling

International Flights, Pediatric Dentists, & Weaning

In less than 3 weeks, my 11 month old and I will fly halfway across the world to Australia. She’ll be considered my “lap infant” to save money. We’ll have two flights to get there – a 2.5 hr flight and a 14.5 hr flight. As the days dwindle until we “set sail,” so to speak, all I can think of is: What in the world was I thinking?! Yes, I’m a little anxious about it. Rachel is anything but tranquil these days. She’s prone to screeching at the top of her lungs all.day.long and her chief goal is to get as many places as fast as she possibly can.

Please pray for our seat neighbor on the plane. I really hope they’re a) into babies/toddlers, and b) don’t mind a small human being crawling in their space repeatedly while they’re trying to sleep. (Because who wouldn’t love that?)

Despite the flying part, I am very much looking forward to our quick trip to Australia. My sister and brother in law and their 3 boys ran into a visa snag while returning back overseas last month and actually have to leave their country to Australia for a month while they get visas renewed. Just my sister and the boys will make the trip. So we’ll get to do touristy stuff while Rachel and I are there visiting, and then after we return home the boys will have to do school the rest of the time.

In other news, I weaned Rachel! It happened a little earlier than planned (by 1 weeks) when my milk supply dropped quite a bit and she had been up at night crying a lot because she was hungry. Her diapers weren’t very heavy either, so I decided to bite the bullet and wean her. She immediately took to cow’s milk, which was a huge answer to prayer! She’s been chugging down anywhere from 2-6 oz of milk at a time, and sleeping through the night. However, the abrupt weaning has been really rough on my body. I’ve been feeling really foggy-brained, irritable, exhausted, and headachy. It hasn’t been fun at all. I read that my prolactin and oxytocin levels are plummeting while estrogen and progesterone levels are rising. So my body is one big hormonal mess at the moment and I hope it all gets straightened out soon! Asking the Lord to help me be patient and kind, even though I feel like a disaster on the inside. Only by His Spirit can I do such things.

I took Josh to the dentist last week (I took him because I lost a bet with my husband….just kidding. Sort of.) and experienced unparalleled screaming from that kiddo. No kidding – I was surprised he didn’t burst capillaries in his little eyeballs from all that wild screaming. My ears rang for hours afterward. I apologized to the dental hygienist several times but she acted like it was all part of the 2 and 3 year old dental course. The dentist was a superstar in my eyes after he managed to scrape tartar off of Josh’s teeth (while Josh writhed and shook and screamed with all his might) without drawing as much as a single drop of blood from his gums!

And before I go — I made a big deal about discovering a bean up Josh’s nose several months back. But the truth is, he’s shoved a total of 3 beans up his nose. It’s becoming fairly routine, apparently! I may have to buy my own medical grade suction apparatus one of these days to get those suckers out (no pun intended).

Hope you have a great week! And I hope beans weren’t on your dinner menu tonight.😉

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Baby, Motherhood, Toddler

Day 6, 7 & 8. The Sounds of My Babies.

This daily blogging thing isn’t really working out so well! I just don’t have the time. I don’t think I’ll be making a “commitment” to blog every day ever again… at least not while I have little kids at home.

In any case, I don’t think it matters a whole lot because the purpose was to help reorient myself back to a better frame of mind, and (thankfully) I am doing much better.

I want to jot down a few memories of my kids that I want to keep for a long time. As I’ve written often, Josh is quite enamored with trains these days. He’s familiar with all the different types (steam & diesel engines, and gondola/tank/cattle/hopper cars, etc.). We live really close to the railroad and whenever we drive by a train, he says in the softest, most adorable voice ever: “HIII trainnnn! Hi trains! HI TRAINS!!!” Then, if he sees the engine, he’ll shout “YELLOW ENGINE! TWO yellow engines! Choo-choo! Choo-choo!”

I go WAY out of my way just to make sure we see a few trains wherever it is that we go these days. Listening to that kid say hi to all the trains puts an instant smile on my face!

As for Rachel, I want to remember her ultra-high pitched laughter squeal. Ain’t nobody higher pitched than that girl! I’m not really sure where she gets it from. It comes out when she’s overjoyed (usually because Josh is playing with her) or when she’s hurt herself (in which case, anyone nearby should probably take cover, because their eardrums will never be the same). Her laughter squeal is one of sheer delight and even she seems like she cannot contain it. I hopes she never loses it.

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 5.

I just wrote a long paragraph about why today was a horrible day. At the end of my paragraph, I decided it was just a very long day, but certainly not horrible. Nobody went to the ER, and no relationships were severed.

In any case, I took a nap instead of blogging today.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Thank the Lord for a new day!

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 4. What I Learned By Leading Worship.

My husband said that I should blog about my recent experience as a temporary worship leader at my church.

This is a pretty fresh subject for me at the moment, and I’m not really sure I can sort it out enough to write about it just yet, but I’ll try.

Basically, the story goes like this:

___________________________________________________

Girl (me) learns to play guitar at 17. Loves to sing. Scattered experience leading worship over the years including Bible studies, mission trips, and rarely leading for church service. But mainly just loves to worship alone or with hubby or sisters.

Over the years girl starts to feel pretty wary of being a worship leader. Doesn’t want to get caught up in the science of leading worship well. Wants to worship whole heartedly. Afraid of self-worship.

Girl is not serving at church and wrestling with that fact. Struggling to know how to serve with nursing baby and tantrum-prone toddler. Some one is always either napping or nursing.

Worship leader at church leaves and there is a huge need for both an interim and a permanent worship leader. Girl prays for a new leader and doesn’t consider filling in. After all, the Lord knows she has no idea how she could pull it off.

A couple people close to girl challenge her to consider serving by leading worship. Girl reminded gently by sister that gifts are given by the Lord to bless the Body of Christ. Girl prays about and considers it, and because she feels like she ought to, she brings it up to hubby. Hubby also has no idea how it would work out with the kids. Subject shelved for the time being.

Holy Spirit proceeds to “nudge” girl about it. Girl goes to hubby again and asks him to pray about. All the while, girl is uncertain that she is even fit to lead worship. It’s not like she’s had much time to play her guitar in the last 2 years….

Hubby decides to move forward on it and goes directly to Senior pastor at church. Girl is dumbfounded by that. Pastor calls girl to discuss it. Girl begins to lead worship.

Girl leads worship, out of obedience only. Girl ends up enjoying it much more than she ever thought possible. However, she also learns some lessons (more about that below).

Full time worship pastor hired, and he will start next Sunday. Girl is overjoyed to not be leading anymore!

______________________________________________________

So that’s the story. As I’ve shared in my Day 1 post, I’m a people-pleaser. And not only that, but one with rather thin skin sometimes. I wish I had thicker skin, but if it’s going to happen without bitterness, it has to be a process that can only take place as I choose to listen to truth and through the Lord working in me.

Serving as a worship leader definitely exposed some of my unrest over the idea of displeasing people. Our church is small and it’s not uncommon to get immediate feedback. Although the feedback was usually positive, there were definitely suggestions. Occasionally the suggestions were not presented to me in the gentlest manner. The Lord reminded me that my aim was to please and praise Him — no one else. At the same time, I also wanted to help our congregation move into a place of worship as quickly as possible and not be distracted in any way. I learned to listen to and consider suggestions but to also be able to say “sorry” if it meant that I would not be able to lead well. This was not easy for me.

We also had all kinds of sound issues and I learned a lot about that – what a time sucker that can be! There were many times that singing a capella without worrying about mics, guitar pick ups, or words on a screen sounded heavenly to me. I reminded myself often that we could easily be worshiping in another country with none of those things (or with A/C!) and be just as content and joyful while worshiping the Lord. Sometimes, I wished we could scrap it all just for the sake of remembering that worship is an act of obedience and not about whether or not we “felt” like worshiping.

One of my favorite songs that I played was the song Behold Our God (you can listen to it here). Such great, true lyrics that have resonated in my mind over the past few weeks. Whenever I was feeling overwhelmed, I would think to myself “Behold our GOD! He is seated on the throne, and there is NOTHING too great or too hard for Him!” It was a reminder I needed constantly. And I think that is one of the perks of being a worship leader, if you happen to pick really great songs with good theology– the songs will minister to you throughout the week as you sing them while practicing.

In the end, I’m glad the Lord allowed the experience… but I’m also glad it’s over.

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Worship

Day 3. I’m Glad My Mother Let Me Fail.

When I was a kid, I spent about 75% of my growing up years outdoors. We lived in the country, where peach orchards mostly surrounded our house. We had a horse, a dog and two cats. We had a couple of neighbor kids too, all of whom were boys and around the same age as me and my older sister.

My mom would let me go outside and peruse the country on my bike or on our horse, Wally. I skated and climbed trees and built forts. I shot about a million basketball hoops in my neighbors’s front yard, and then in our own yard after I got my own hoop for my 9th birthday. The neighbor boys and I would build ramps for our bikes to jump off of and we would take turns flying over them on our bikes. My bike was a used but good quality girl’s Schwinn — a pink frame with a brightly flowered banana seat and “U” shaped handlebars. We built these ramps higher and higher and had great fun until one of the boys took a tall jump on my bike (I guess there’s no shame in riding a pink bike like mine you’re only 9?), landed incredibly wrong and broke his arm. Sadly, that put a swift end to our bike jumps that summer!

My childhood was a little messy at times, but I had a Mom who gave me guidelines and set boundaries and then set me free to play and master all sorts of skills outside. She was in no way a helicopter parent, nor was she ruled by fear. At the same time she was intolerant of disrespectful behavior and was constantly on me for my “attitudes.” She and I battled a lot over this issue until the Lord saved me when I was 12. From that time on, I remember very few battles with my mom, and my Mom still marvels at how much the Holy Spirit transformed me quite immediately following my conversion.

Now that I’m a Mom, I find myself looking back at my childhood through a new set of lenses. I have great respect for my Mom, who worked full time from home with 4 kids, one of which was disabled. I don’t know how she did it, but she carried on well and still does as she cares for my disabled sister.

She let me make mistakes and she let me fail, often. I still remember sitting on my bed in my room, sobbing my eyes out. I was 11, and I had just gotten kicked out of horse back riding lessons. I had my side of the story, and some of it made sense at the time, I guess; but the bottom line was that I had given up, and that I was stubborn. When my Mom came to pick me up from riding lessons that day, my instructor told her that she couldn’t teach me anymore. I was officially expelled. My Mom didn’t try to fix the situation or make excuses for me. We got in the car and came home, and I was sent directly to my room. Later, my mom calmly came in, sat down on my bed, and told me how utterly disappointed she was in me. I’ll never forget it, because I felt utterly disappointed with myself as well! I had to grapple with that shame, and although it brought a lot of despair at the time, it contributed greatly toward propelling me straight to Jesus.

She also let me fail in piano lessons (also kicked out), school (not entire grades, but in several projects and tests), and in friendships. She let me learn from my mistakes. And for a driven, people-pleasing person like me, I still remember a bit of the ache of rejection that came from those failures. But even more so, I remember the lessons that I learned.

So when I think back to my childhood, I’m thankful for my Mom, who undoubtedly had way more on her plate than I ever realized as a child. I’m thankful that I wasn’t ever coddled and that I rarely ever got away with stuff, because my mother happened to be incredibly perceptive (I just thought she really DID have eyes on the back of her head!). I’m thankful that she let me run around and play without hovering. And I’m thankful that, as much as it hurt, she let me fail. Because I would quickly discover that there was nothing on this planet but Jesus that could heal those wounds.

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 2. Not off to a very good start.

So much for daily blogging. I never got beyond two incomplete paragraphs (since deleted) because I got a phone call with that required urgent action, followed by my Dad visiting and a trip to Costco, followed by kiddo bath/dinner/bedtime, and then I went to work and ran like crazy to keep up for several hours. It’s almost 3 am and I’m headed to bed!

The good news is that God seems to have immediately answered some of my prayers. I’m feeling better emotionally. I was able to have good conversations with my hubby about some of my issues. And lastly, I’ve had visitors from family most of the week– which always encourages me. Thank you Lord!

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized