Category Archives: Uncategorized

Getting Home

I left pretty early that morning, 5:30 am. I had thoroughly enjoyed my visit with my sister and her husband, but it was time to head home. I had to be at work by the early afternoon, and the drive would take me just under six hours. The air was chilly that January morning, and there was no denying that my jeans and sweatshirt would barely cut it as I quickly walked the short distance from my sister’s house to my 1990 Toyota pickup.

I was on the winter break of my sophomore year of college, working on my nursing prerequisites. I was still living at home and still working part time. I was 19 then, with very little to my name.

Climbing into my small truck cab, I turned the key and the trusty old Toyota engine with 240,000 miles faithfully roared to life. I started heading South on highway 101. As I headed further away from the ocean, I got a little chilled and cranked up the heater. I didn’t realize that the temperature had dropped to the 20’s outside. The roads were curvy the whole way, with redwood trees lining both sides of the highway. All of the sudden, as I entered into a shady area, my truck lost control and I swerved out of my lane left to the other side of the road. There was a cliff not far from the edge, about 8 feet from where my truck was. I panicked, thinking my steering wheel had broken, and tried frantically to return to the correct side of the road. But I seemed to have lost control of everything in the truck, including my brakes. Before I could think another second as to what was happening, my truck immediately veered right, back across my lane and straight into a dirt embankment, where I crashed while traveling at 65 mph (the speed limit). I had hit black ice.

As my truck hurtled across the road and came to a halting stop, I gasped as I felt my entire body get catapulted into my steering wheel. My life literally flashed before my eyes: a multitude of childhood and recent memories soared through my mind, all at once. It was surreal. Right before the impact, I had one thought: This is it. I’m going to die.

After slamming into the dirt bank, my truck jolted back and my upper body flung back away from my steering wheel and into the back of my seat. I gasped, as it felt like all of the air had been forced out of my lungs from the impact. I blinked: I wasn’t dead after all. But I was in shock. Sudden tears streamed down my face. I looked around the truck. The contents of my purse had been dumped onto the floor. My airbag hadn’t gone off. Was I okay? I felt pain in every place where my seat belt had been, but I seemed to be more or less alright. My truck wasn’t running, so I turned the key off and then on again. The trusty Toyota started up! I shifted into reverse, hoping to get the back end of my truck out of the highway as quickly as possible. But my heart sank when I realized that I was unable to move the truck at all.

Worried about oncoming traffic potentially not seeing my truck taking up half of the lane in time, I quickly searched the contents of my purse on the floor for my phone. I grabbed it and got out of my truck and walked behind it a little to where there was more of a shoulder to the road. I looked at my phone. I had no cell phone service. “Are you kidding me?” I wanted to cry. Oh, the irony of it all – breaking down in the middle of nowhere had been the primary reason for why I had wanted a cell phone! As I looked around, I  began to panic a little. For as far as I could see any direction, all I could see were redwood trees. There were no homes or businesses nearby, and I was pretty sure that the next town was a twenty minute drive away. Not a single car had gone by since I had crashed. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I was shivering, and very frightened. I began to pray “Oh God, please help me. Please send someone to help me.”

I stood there for five more minutes and two cars drove by. But neither one even slowed down. My panic grew. “What if no one even bothers to stop!” I whimpered, as one of little faith would. Ten more minutes passed and I was getting mentally prepared to start walking as I could feel my fingers and toes start to go numb. My truck looked like it had a flat front tire and a dent in the side fender. Considering the speed at which I had been traveling, I couldn’t believe the body damage wasn’t worse.

Suddenly, a man driving a large truck going by saw me and slammed on his brakes just as he went past my truck. The truck backed up and pulled off the road and parked. “Someone is stopping!” I internally cheered. But my rejoicing turned to fear almost immediately. I suspiciously eyed the man, feeling more vulnerable than ever. My heart was racing. “Lord, is this someone you sent to help me?”  I prayed. “Or is this a bad man?” I hadn’t died in my truck accident. But I could die from the hands of this man, of whom I knew nothing about, out in the middle of no where. Every horrible news story I had ever read about women getting murdered in isolated areas surfaced. The isolation of my location felt suddenly overwhelming.

I had no idea of the answer to my question, but I calmed down a bit when I saw the logo of a familiar logging company on the man’s truck. The middle aged bearded man got out of his cab and immediately proceeded to talk about the black ice. “I helped with two accidents in this exact same place due to black ice just last week,” he said. “One lady literally drove over the embankment a little further on and went down into a ravine. It was a miracle that I saw her down there as I was driving by.” Apparently, as he drove that section of road several days a week for his job, he was a black ice Good Samaritan. He seemed nice enough, although a little rough around the edges. We walked over to my truck and he determined that I had a flat tire and my truck needed to be moved out of the road. I followed his instructions and he someone was able to move my truck out of the road. He got to work on changing out the tires while I stood gratefully and rather helplessly nearby.

Five minutes later, a truck pouring sand onto the icy road drove by. I shook my head in disbelief. If I had left just thirty minutes later I wouldn’t have been in such a debacle! The Good Samaritan man eventually finished the (what appeared to be) rather difficult job of changing the tire, probably because of the damage to the front fender in the accident. “We’re only about twenty minutes from Leightonville,” he told me. “It’s a small town but they have a tire shop there. I’ll follow you to the tire shop to make sure you arrive safely.” I held my breath. This man had been so incredibly helpful and kind. But he was also a bit odd in some ways. Even though I was grateful, I still didn’t trust him. In any case, I knew I couldn’t get very far on my spare tire, which wasn’t inflated enough. Going to a tire shop was good suggestion.

I got back into the truck, and, shaking from the entire experience, set back onto the highway and toward Leightonville. The truck was extremely hard to control, and was pulling hard to the right like a lousy Walmart shopping cart. I almost drove off the road every time I took one hand off the steering wheel in order to shift gears.

I looked in the review mirror – the man was driving close behind me, as he said he would be. We both finally arrived in Leightonville and pulled into the tire shop. I wasn’t sure if the man was going to keep driving on at this point, now that I had arrived safely to the tire shop. But he got out of his truck, went inside the tire shop for a few minutes and came out, telling me as he climbed back into his truck “I told them not to charge you too much.” I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the man for his kind act of stopping to change my tire. I offered him the only money I had, $20, but he smiled, said it was nothing, and promptly left.

As I walked into the tire shop I thanked God for sending me someone after all. I hadn’t trusted the man until he was literally driving away, but I was still glad that he had stopped to help me.

At the tire shop, it turned out that the air had been knocked out of my tire, and that it was repairable. They didn’t seem to have a set fee for fixing that sort of thing, so they asked, “How about $20?” I shook my head in amazement as I handed over my sole monetary bill. Despite my panic and my fears, God had worked out every single detail. I would look back on this moment for years to come and learn to trust God better.

I was finally able to call my family from the tire shop. Because my car was pulling to the right so horrendously, my parents encouraged me to make the much shorter drive to Santa Rosa where my Grandparents lived. I could take my car to a mechanic there and get it fixed. It sounded like a good plan, but first I called my employer to let them know there was no way I would be able to make it into work that afternoon. I then made the arduous drive to Santa Rosa where my grandparents met me at a mechanic’s shop. It was determined there that my truck had a broken steering arm, and that it would take a couple of days to be repaired. As I closed my eyes while riding in the backseat of my Grandparent’s car, all I knew was that I was happy to not be driving anymore.

Two days later, I was at last on my way home from my Grandparent’s house. I was surprised when I had flashbacks of the accident the entire way home. Visions of my truck crashing would blindside me even when barely moving. Driving felt terrifying. The reality of the whole ordeal was finally setting in, and my brain was switching out of survival mode. I pulled into my parents’ home, shut the truck door and walked inside. My Mom was home and there to greet me. As soon as I saw her face, I burst into tears. She pulled me in and hugged me hard. She held me close as the tears kept coming. I had survived crashing at 65 mph with just bruises. I had been watched over and cared for. I was home.

 

 

 

 

6 Comments

Filed under Traveling, Uncategorized

Rescued From a Life I Thought I Wanted

There is something magical about the trained ballerina. She is elegant, long, beautiful. She moves with effortless fashion and ease. She is graceful and composed.

The ballet world. This was a world in which I once lived in, more than half my lifetime ago. Not that I was all those adjectives previously listed; but I sure aimed to be. Five to six days a week I trained and stretched and wore out my toe shoes. I was there for class every day after school, and often on Saturdays, too. I loved it. I wanted ballet to be my permanent life. I was consumed by it.

I wanted to make a career of ballet, but there was an ever-growing tension in my home. No matter what it cost me, I wanted to be a professional ballerina. And yet my Mother was deeply opposed to the idea. She believed that ballerinas didn’t make much money, they were overworked, they often struggled with body image, and were sometimes placed in vulnerable situations. Not only that, but ballet, performed over a span of years, was hard on the body. We butted heads about the issue for several months. I kept praying and trying to convince her it was a good idea. But it was no use. Her opposition held just as strong as ever.

I remember writing in my journal, praying and wrestling with this tension as a teenager. How could my Mother not see how much I loved and needed ballet? Why could she not just give me approval in this one area of my life? I was headstrong, but I was also very much wanting my Mother’s blessing for my future career. So the inner turmoil raged on.

In the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school, I flew to Mississippi to join a three week long intensive Christian ballet workshop. I danced my heart out, made friends, and had a wonderful time. At the end of the workshop, I waved a sad goodbye and flew back home to California. But I soon discovered that something had changed. Actually, there had been a huge change in me! I didn’t need ballet anymore. I didn’t even want it! Somehow I felt totally free to move on from it– which was a completely foreign concept at the time. How could this be? I didn’t know, but I never went back to ballet classes or rejoined the ballet company I had been part of. I packed up all of my beloved ballet gear into a box, put it away in my closet and shut the door.

There was no logical explanation for this transformation in me except that the Lord literally plucked an idol out of my life.

So I walked away and never looked back. And I am so grateful.

In hindsight, I’m so glad the Lord listened to the prayers of my Mother, and not to mine. There is nothing inherently wrong with being a ballerina (the problem was with me, not ballet). Dropping ballet meant that I was able to devote more time to school and follow the pathway to become a nurse. I can think of a hundred reasons as to why I’m much better suited to being a nurse than a ballerina, and even though I don’t work a ton these days, it is a profession that I love and that has given me useful, practical knowledge for everyday life.

The Lord recently removed another idol from me (coffee), and the freedom I feel from giving up something as seemingly simple as coffee happens to be enormous! I’ve learned that the Lord both gives and takes away– and sometimes, the things He takes away are actually curses disguised as blessings. In the end, I have received a multitude of blessings by having these idols stripped away from me. When our lives are completely entrusted to Jesus, there is nothing but peace and joy!

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21 (ESV)

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

My Little Guy

My little Josh is quickly growing into a big boy. I’m not sure when this happened, but it’s been really fun to witness. Parenting, for all it’s exhaustion and challenges, is full of wonder and joy.

Some highlights of this little dude who will be 3 in just a few short months.

-He is not cuddly by nature, but Mommy requires her daily allotment of snuggles with this guy and for all his protests, he loves it.

img_20161213_114459

-He is very happy when he is building something like this. (Of course, it must be built up and away from where little sister can’t get into it. Otherwise we have one very frustrated little boy!)

img_20161201_122311

-Thomas the Train, x 10,000. This guy lives, eats and breathes Thomas the Train. No need to say more.

2016-12-18-19-04-21

-And dare I mention books? We are always in pursuit of new reading material. Hanging out with his Auntie below.

img_20161203_164455

-Mommy finally got brave and tried out baking with a toddler. He loved it. Mommy… semi-loved it.

2016-12-16-10-36-33

-Playing outside. Those leaves are since gone from the tree, but at the time I would push him high enough so that the leaves would tickle his face and he giggled hysterically.

img_20161201_103752

-“We’re just two guys hanging out!” is the refrain I often hear when Josh and Daddy are together. Daddy is the BEST playmate.

2016-12-16-18-26-06

I must say, from 14 months to 27 months were pretty rough with this guy. We had frequent show-stopper meltdowns no matter how much we tried to avoid them. By several accounts, he was a “tough toddler.” But for several months now, we’ve seen this little guy really flourish as his vocabulary took off and his level of independence increased. And I’ve been happy to give him his own set of duties/responsibilities as I’ve watched him become quite capable of handling them. He is so different from his sister — he is focused, happy to be alone for long periods of time, delights in looking at every single page of a thick book, and loves his routine.

I’m looking forward to what the next year will bring. Thankful to our Savior for such this little dude. We love you Joshua!

 

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Moving Houses & A One Year Old’s Belated Party

I am very behind on blogging!

I guess that’s what happens when you suddenly decide to put your house on the market and move to another town? But I’m getting ahead of myself. Flipping the calendar back, let’s land on September when Rachel turned one.

We had a little party at my folk’s house (which is an hour away).

dsc_0623 dsc_0626 dsc_0627 dsc_0628

Glad we got some pictures because I can’t even remember what we served for lunch. It appears that we had Mexican food!

Rachel did great and never shed a tear until nap time came around. She’s our social butterfly!

dsc_0641

dsc_0621

Blowing out the candle (by Mom, of course). dsc_0651

Digging into her cupcake. Pretty sure that was her first cupcake ever! She loved it.

dsc_0657

That was followed by opening a pile of really fun baby girl gifts. This girl got showered in adorable clothes this year! Also, her Daddy and  I made her a dollhouse.  I got the idea from another blog.

 

img_20161117_1405101

Then we stumbled upon a house owned by a friend of my hubby’s parents. The house was ten minutes from hubby’s work, on 1/2 acre, and close to a park. It was a little older than our current house, and needed some work, but it was also bigger. The house, because we’d forgo using a realtor, was actually in our price range. So we decided to go for it. We worked like crazy and got our house on the market in two (TWO!) days. It sold in 4 days, and what a HUGE blessing that was, because trying to keep a pristine house with two toddlers was nearly impossible. I found myself saying the most ridiculously thing to the kids, like “Why are you touching that TOY?!”

We we able to start working on our new house before we moved in (thanks to it being owned at the time by a really nice guy) and we scraped popcorn ceilings in the bedrooms, bathroom and master closet. Then we painted almost the ENTIRE house inside – ceilings and all! We got the carpet replaced (because there had been pets and it didn’t smell so great) and my hubby got started replacing baseboards (the old/current ones were foam/vinyl). Before we moved in, I chalk painted all of the kitchen cabinets. My father in law installed some new lights and fans. My parents worked like dogs too, coming over several times a week to scrape ceilings, paint, dismantle a deck, clean out gutters, paint some more, etc. In was a TON of work, and hubby and I burned the midnight oil for a couple of weeks with me leaving the house a bit after 5 am to work on the house and he staying after work really late most days. If I wasn’t working on the new house, I was at the old house packing and trying to keep two toddlers busy/happy.

I ‘ll have to post some before and after pics of the house soon. There’s a lot still that is unfinished. But here’s one of the kitchen (picture from before we bought the house):

img_20160918_113730

Today: It’s underexposed because at the moment we don’t have much lighting in the kitchen (it’s getting replaced).

img_20161117_1424501

We had to replace the oven and microwave, because you couldn’t actually *open* the old dishwasher due to the old oven’s configuration (the oven’s bottom handle was in the way). The old microwave’s vent was busted, so we replaced the microwave.

img_20161117_1424361

We plan to replace counter tops and the sink soon. There’s a leak related to the garbage disposal under the sink, so that will need to be dealt with as well.

And just in case you think our lives are like Pollyanna (which I’m sure you could say they are compared to some!) we did encounter some rough patches while moving! The night before we moved, someone busted the side garage door of our new house and stole my hubby’s drill and my father in law’s saw out of the garage. But they would have had access to the house too, because the door to the house had been unlocked. I had entered the house early that morning after the tools were stolen, although unbeknownst to me (with the kids) and was SO thankful there was no one here in the house when we walked in! Creepy! I also had a flat tire that morning that was repaired, but hubby got a flat tire a few days later and had to buy a new set of tires. And at the end of moving day, I noticed that our fridge was really hot on the exterior and not keeping up temperature-wise. It was also making an electrical burning-type smell. We lost all our food because by the time we realized the fridge was toast, all the food in the freezer had thawed. We ended up needing to buy a new fridge!

And tomorrow, we’re having our house tested for mold, because hubby has become mildly wheezy since moving in. We just need to know for sure.

There’s about 100 other things that need to be done at this new house, but it’s in a nice neighborhood and I love the house and yard. I don’t mind work in general, whether it’s indoors or outdoors. I like to have lots to do! Also, I am loving only being ten minutes from hubby’s work (as opposed to 40-45 mins) and all of the space here!

Hopefully we haven’t bought a money pit. I’m looking to the Lord to give me peace as we try to find inexpensive ways to tackle projects around here.

More on that later! Nap time here is over. May the Lord bless you and your week!

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 6, 7 & 8. The Sounds of My Babies.

This daily blogging thing isn’t really working out so well! I just don’t have the time. I don’t think I’ll be making a “commitment” to blog every day ever again… at least not while I have little kids at home.

In any case, I don’t think it matters a whole lot because the purpose was to help reorient myself back to a better frame of mind, and (thankfully) I am doing much better.

I want to jot down a few memories of my kids that I want to keep for a long time. As I’ve written often, Josh is quite enamored with trains these days. He’s familiar with all the different types (steam & diesel engines, and gondola/tank/cattle/hopper cars, etc.). We live really close to the railroad and whenever we drive by a train, he says in the softest, most adorable voice ever: “HIII trainnnn! Hi trains! HI TRAINS!!!” Then, if he sees the engine, he’ll shout “YELLOW ENGINE! TWO yellow engines! Choo-choo! Choo-choo!”

I go WAY out of my way just to make sure we see a few trains wherever it is that we go these days. Listening to that kid say hi to all the trains puts an instant smile on my face!

As for Rachel, I want to remember her ultra-high pitched laughter squeal. Ain’t nobody higher pitched than that girl! I’m not really sure where she gets it from. It comes out when she’s overjoyed (usually because Josh is playing with her) or when she’s hurt herself (in which case, anyone nearby should probably take cover, because their eardrums will never be the same). Her laughter squeal is one of sheer delight and even she seems like she cannot contain it. I hopes she never loses it.

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 5.

I just wrote a long paragraph about why today was a horrible day. At the end of my paragraph, I decided it was just a very long day, but certainly not horrible. Nobody went to the ER, and no relationships were severed.

In any case, I took a nap instead of blogging today.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Thank the Lord for a new day!

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 3. I’m Glad My Mother Let Me Fail.

When I was a kid, I spent about 75% of my growing up years outdoors. We lived in the country, where peach orchards mostly surrounded our house. We had a horse, a dog and two cats. We had a couple of neighbor kids too, all of whom were boys and around the same age as me and my older sister.

My mom would let me go outside and peruse the country on my bike or on our horse, Wally. I skated and climbed trees and built forts. I shot about a million basketball hoops in my neighbors’s front yard, and then in our own yard after I got my own hoop for my 9th birthday. The neighbor boys and I would build ramps for our bikes to jump off of and we would take turns flying over them on our bikes. My bike was a used but good quality girl’s Schwinn — a pink frame with a brightly flowered banana seat and “U” shaped handlebars. We built these ramps higher and higher and had great fun until one of the boys took a tall jump on my bike (I guess there’s no shame in riding a pink bike like mine you’re only 9?), landed incredibly wrong and broke his arm. Sadly, that put a swift end to our bike jumps that summer!

My childhood was a little messy at times, but I had a Mom who gave me guidelines and set boundaries and then set me free to play and master all sorts of skills outside. She was in no way a helicopter parent, nor was she ruled by fear. At the same time she was intolerant of disrespectful behavior and was constantly on me for my “attitudes.” She and I battled a lot over this issue until the Lord saved me when I was 12. From that time on, I remember very few battles with my mom, and my Mom still marvels at how much the Holy Spirit transformed me quite immediately following my conversion.

Now that I’m a Mom, I find myself looking back at my childhood through a new set of lenses. I have great respect for my Mom, who worked full time from home with 4 kids, one of which was disabled. I don’t know how she did it, but she carried on well and still does as she cares for my disabled sister.

She let me make mistakes and she let me fail, often. I still remember sitting on my bed in my room, sobbing my eyes out. I was 11, and I had just gotten kicked out of horse back riding lessons. I had my side of the story, and some of it made sense at the time, I guess; but the bottom line was that I had given up, and that I was stubborn. When my Mom came to pick me up from riding lessons that day, my instructor told her that she couldn’t teach me anymore. I was officially expelled. My Mom didn’t try to fix the situation or make excuses for me. We got in the car and came home, and I was sent directly to my room. Later, my mom calmly came in, sat down on my bed, and told me how utterly disappointed she was in me. I’ll never forget it, because I felt utterly disappointed with myself as well! I had to grapple with that shame, and although it brought a lot of despair at the time, it contributed greatly toward propelling me straight to Jesus.

She also let me fail in piano lessons (also kicked out), school (not entire grades, but in several projects and tests), and in friendships. She let me learn from my mistakes. And for a driven, people-pleasing person like me, I still remember a bit of the ache of rejection that came from those failures. But even more so, I remember the lessons that I learned.

So when I think back to my childhood, I’m thankful for my Mom, who undoubtedly had way more on her plate than I ever realized as a child. I’m thankful that I wasn’t ever coddled and that I rarely ever got away with stuff, because my mother happened to be incredibly perceptive (I just thought she really DID have eyes on the back of her head!). I’m thankful that she let me run around and play without hovering. And I’m thankful that, as much as it hurt, she let me fail. Because I would quickly discover that there was nothing on this planet but Jesus that could heal those wounds.

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 2. Not off to a very good start.

So much for daily blogging. I never got beyond two incomplete paragraphs (since deleted) because I got a phone call with that required urgent action, followed by my Dad visiting and a trip to Costco, followed by kiddo bath/dinner/bedtime, and then I went to work and ran like crazy to keep up for several hours. It’s almost 3 am and I’m headed to bed!

The good news is that God seems to have immediately answered some of my prayers. I’m feeling better emotionally. I was able to have good conversations with my hubby about some of my issues. And lastly, I’ve had visitors from family most of the week– which always encourages me. Thank you Lord!

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Day 1.

I’m going to try to commit to blogging every day for a month. I don’t know if I can do it, but I’ll try. I’ve been going through an emotional funk lately (how’s that for medical terminology?) and I need to process and remind myself of truth. It’s hard not to listen to accusing lies when you’re already feeling somewhat emotionally poor.

I’ve always been a people pleaser. It’s a real drag that I’m geared that way, because do you know what happens when you idolize pleasing anyone but Jesus? Misery, quickly followed by despair. I’ve found that I can let people down; I am capable of taking the steps to do what is right in my mind, even if I know the fallout will be rough. But then the fallout often feels worse than I had imagined and I quickly become miserable and depressed over it. I don’t enjoy conflict and feel like it quickly sucks the joy of life right out of me. I often feel heartsick over it.

So, I’m sure you guessed it — God is allowing these painful situations to occur for a very good reason. Clearly He is doing a good work in me! But it is a painful process. And I think that it will be until I learn to walk so closely with Him that I need not fear what man does to me. Even if it means loneliness and isolation (a big fear of mine).

Life has it’s peaks and it’s valleys. This is a valley, for sure. However long this valley stretches for, I know He is with me– not just walking with me, but carrying me along the way.

“So our eyes look to the Lord our God, till He has mercy upon us.” Psalm 123:2

 

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Saying Goodbye

It’s time to say goodbye once again. In under two weeks, my sister and her family will be leaving us to live in another country for three years. They have lived state-side for twelve months, and we have done much of life together during that time. But just as we quickly adapted to incorporate them into every area of our lives upon their arrival, so we will just as rapidly have to adapt to their absence.

It’s a process I love and hate. I love having them be near us. I love having my nephews over for sleepovers, my husband being able to grab lunch with my brother in law during his lunch break, and my sister nearby to tackle life with me. I love being able to call or text my sister in order to coordinate plans for the next day or following week (it’s very expensive to call where they live overseas). I love how we cooperate together so that between the two of us we can get our grocery shopping done, our kids napped and fed, and whatever pressing need that may be on the agenda that day. Life–especially when you have kids, is work, and it’s great when you can share it with a friend.

As much as I love them coming, I hate that it also means having to say goodbye. Although 99% of me knows that life will soon find a purposeful cadence after they leave, I struggle. We weren’t meant for goodbyes, for separation. Living in community with others is hard work, but it’s also satisfying because it’s a little snippet of what life might have been like before the fall. Communing freely with God. Living in grace and peace with one another. Sadly, some live in turmoil and drama their whole lives, never experiencing this. Sin so easily entangles, but through His Spirit we can extend grace and love to one another. We can speak truth in love. We can focus on the log in our own eye instead of the speck in the eyes of our brother or sister. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

The following verses have been pressing on my heart these past few days. Maybe it’ll be my mantra for the next few weeks or months.

“‘Awake, O Sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’ Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:14-15

The goodbyes are coming. It’s a sad time for all of us. But we do not live as those who have no hope! So I won’t be foolish and dwell on it too much. I want to make the best use of the time. I’m praying for who the Lord might have me disciple or reach out to. How can I serve or bless? How can I open my home up to others?

May the Lord fill my schedule how He pleases.

In the meantime, goodbye dear sister, brother in law, and precious nephews. I love you guys dearly. You are never far from my thoughts and will never be anywhere other than close to my heart. You are doing a GOOD work and are faithful servants. You are always in my prayers.

DSC08695

Leave a comment

Filed under Life, Uncategorized