The days are full of trying on dress up shoes, yard work, pretending to be human excavators, and playing in the dirt. As with every season of parenting this far, I’m learning much about my kids, my own personal bents and failures, and about life. More than ever, I feel acutely aware of the brevity of this parenting gig. The opportunity to plants seeds, water, and pray. To teach, love and forgive. And to offer kindness- again and again.
I think back to my own childhood often. I was a rebellious child – there’s no question about it. I was mouthy and stubborn. I seemed to suffer from complete lack of self control, mostly with my words. But I was SO sick of myself, sick of my shame and confusion and continual discord with others. And in the summer between 6th and 7th grade, through a Bible study a lady at my church personally invited me to, I discovered who Jesus really was. I committed my entire life to Him, and from then on I have been very cognizant of how much the Lord pulled me out of the PIT of fear and destruction.
The change in me was immediate. Just ask my Mom. I went from knowing about Jesus to really knowing Jesus. My whole life turned upside down, even though I grew up in a Christian home. My relationship with my parents went from being tense to harmonious.
And this is my prayer for my children. If they have to live years of rebellion in order to really know brokenness – to really know, love and submit to Jesus- then so be it. Whatever it takes, because Christ is the ONLY thing that really matters in this life. The last thing I want is to have kids who are outwardly Christians but whose hearts are far from Christ.
And yet… how wonderful it would be if they do see their true depravity and choose to follow Christ from a young age.
Either way, I’m on my knees, crying out to God for the hearts of these beloved kiddos of mine.
Lord, please help me to train up our children well. But more than anything, I pray that they would turn to you with humble hearts.
“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” Psalm 34:8