Instead of cleaning the kitchen, tonight I’m blogging.
My foggy brain is processing rather slowly after a day like today. And I’m so glad that not every day mirrors this one. We took our weekly trip to my parent’s property this morning. My sister and brother in law and their three kids are living there until they head back overseas in July. They’ll be gone for a long time after they leave (I think three years). We usually arrive mid-morning and my kids take naps (I set up the portable crib for Josh and Rachel sleeps in a swing I’m borrowing from a friend). We eat lunch together and sometime around 3 we pack everything up and head home.
This hour long trip to my parents is fun and there is always a lot going on between my kids and my sister’s kids. My parents usually have various things going on as well. But it is also usually just a really hard day for me. Hence the mention of hazard lights in the title. I think I’ve had to pull over (on the freeway, while traffic was slowly winding along) four times in the last three weeks to deal with screaming Rachel. Josh can take the screaming for about 25 minutes and then he’s done and starts screaming as well.
Today the trip home took 2 hours instead of 1, and Rachel screamed for most of it. I pulled over and changed her poopy diaper in my lap in the driver’s seat on the side of the freeway. She was calm for about 5 minutes (of course Josh screamed those 5 minutes she was quiet), but as soon as she went back into her car seat she went ballistic again. When Josh started up too (this is well after he’s been given snacks, listening to Psalty music, and watching trains on my phone) I figured the safest thing to do was to put in my headphones and listen to music. Really loud music. I sort of feel bad about tuning out (no pun intended) but then again I don’t really have many options other than to GET HOME ASAP without killing everybody in the process. At the point the earbuds went in, there wasn’t a place to pull over or even exit the freeway due to road construction.
I tend to feel a little desperate during these screaming-saturated car trips. I’m sure it’s good for my character and I’ll be glad for that some day. But it also make me never want to leave my home ever again.
To fight discouragement I have to remind myself of what is true: My nephews will only be here for three more months. The frequency of these trips are temporary, and my kids will not always have the proclivity to scream like they’re being murdered the entire way. Nobody died in the process of traveling to and fro. Screaming for that long only fries my nerves for a few hours. The kids sleep better at night after all that vocal exercise. Chiefly, I’ll remember the good memories with my nephews long after today and long after they’ve returned overseas.
I had a mini meltdown after my hubby got home and we had a quiet moment alone. For all the screaming and needed hazard light use this past month, I still feel like time is quickly slipping by and we’re not getting to see them enough. I have to remember what an incredible blessing it is that my sister and I are so close that I’m sad when we don’t get to do life together as often as I’d like. And that my nephews are always so full of energy and fun topics.
And that they still think we’re cool.
Lord, thank you for my family and for relationships that I have always been blessed by.