I wrote a post about a week ago on things I was learning as a young (ish) mother but I was brain dead at 2 am when I wrote it so I decided against publishing it. I wish I could say I’m much more alert tonight at 8:50 pm but that would be a lie. I’m discovering that as I chase around a toddler and embrace week 26 of pregnancy, I’m just flat-out tired most of the time!
I’m learning so much these days, though. Learning to let go of expectations and hopes that I have for the future and to trust the Lord with it. Learning to find patience for the days that Josh whines continuously and to curb my own whining when my pregnancy ailments get the best of me. Learning to be grateful for the little things, and stopping my mouth when ‘Ms. Negativity’ tries to enter in. Of course I fail all the time– just ask my husband. But it is a good season, because the Lord is teaching me, and that never leads to a stagnant walk with the Lord.
My older sister and her family are here for a month, living an hour away with my parents while they attempt to renovate the granny house on my parent’s property. I don’t get to spend much time with them (they live overseas) and my sister and I are very close, so I’m hoping to get over there as much as possible this month. I don’t know how it will work out gas/money-wise or with Josh (who’s not a fan of his car seat and who is still needing two long naps a day) but I’m trying not to cling to wanting to be there all the time too much and to take it a day at a time. While at church this morning I realized that it was something I needed to surrender to the Lord and so I did just that. The Lord gave me tremendous peace about it and now I’m excited for how the month will unfold.
So far things are going okay with this pregnancy. Still having a lot of heartburn which comes on randomly and regardless of what I choose to eat. It usually keeps me up several hours into the night. I’m still trying to keep off of the PPI’s (proton pump inhibitors–Protonix, Prilosec, Prevacid, etc) until I make it to the third trimester if I can. Also experiencing more swelling in my hands and feet than I ever had when pregnant with Josh. I don’t know if it’s because of being pregnant during the hot summer months or what? And overall feeling much more emotional and irritable. Yayyyyy.
Yesterday was funny because a few people told me “You don’t even look pregnant!” and today I got “You’ve really grown!” and “Look how big you are now!” Here’s a comparison below between this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Josh. These pictures never really seem to show how big I feel in real life.
I’ve been thinking a little too much about giving birth lately. I guess I’m still traumatized from last time, but I need to be thankful that I delivered a live, healthy child and that there were no emergencies for either of us (even with the umbilical wrapped around Josh’s neck 3 times — he still tolerated labor like a champ!). I’m really hoping to avoid getting an epidural and to be able to labor at home for as long as I can handle, but it seems to me that plans with childbirth tend to get thrown out the window, sometimes before labor has even started! (i.e. The baby is breech, an early induction is needed due to low fluid, baby doesn’t tolerate labor well, mom is GBS positive so can’t labor at home for very long, mom’s water breaks early on, etc.) Having a safe delivery is ultimately my chief goal. I just hope it’s not as awful this time around! There were points of complete hopelessness and despair (where I honestly felt like both baby and me were going to die — not sure if it was a side effect to one of the medications I received or what?) that I hope to avoid next time around. I will be praying a lot about it, that’s for sure… and will be roping in my friends and family to be praying as well when the time comes.
Things are going great with Josh. He’ll be 16 months old in the next week. Recently he’s become attached to the blankie my mom knitted him before he was born and it’s been a great thing to have for comfort. Whenever it is that I decide to take away his pacifier, it’ll be really handy to have that blankie! He loves to put his head down on my shoulder and snuggle with me when I’m putting him down for a nap or at bedtime. I really cherish these moments of closeness with him. He still loves to snuggle in my lap and read books with me. I know it won’t last forever, but I also know it’ll be a joy to see him gain independence and to learn new things as well. He is still a very focused little boy and the lady in the nursery at church playing with him exclaimed “I think he’s going to grow up to be an engineer!” after watching him hold his interest in stacking nesting blocks for a long time. I couldn’t help but laugh since his daddy is an engineer with a reaaaallly long attention span. 😉 He’s still not walking (he’s soooo close, though!) and repeats words occasionally after us, but still isn’t talking yet. Thankfully, his understanding is very good now. In fact, the other day I was telling my mom on the phone that Josh would bolt toward the front door whenever I told him “Daddy’s home!” and he overheard me saying that to her and took off toward the front door! He was quite sad (and confused) when I had to tell him, “Sorry Josh, Daddy actually isn’t home yet!” Now I need to be more careful with what I say in front of him!
Hoping to make it to the zoo, the fair, a splash pad, and to get lots of swimming in at my parent’s pool with Josh and my nephews this month. Also, we are going camping next weekend with my extended family! Lots to look forward to. I’m also looking forward to my 28 week OB appt next week (but NOT looking forward to the glucose tolerance test I’ll have to do that day). I’m not sure if I’ll get another ultrasound before I deliver (seems like they did one at 36 weeks with Josh? Or maybe it was 32 weeks? I can’t remember) but I sure hope so. It would be really fun to see this little girl again.