Disappointing News

The roller coaster ride continues.

I got bad news this morning. My hcg level, at 19dpo, was only 216. That’s an increase of 55%. They’re looking for an increase of 75% or higher to indicate a viable pregnancy.

The lab results helped me make some sense of the past two weeks. I haven’t felt pregnant for a single day this time around. Many told me to count my blessings–that maybe I was just having an amazing pregnancy, but I was deeply worried something was wrong. Despite the pieces finally adding up, I still cried and grieved all morning. My husband sounded really disappointed on the phone when I told him. He wanted to know when we could try for another FET (not that we could afford it right away).

The IVF nurse also painted a grim picture for us. Most likely I will miscarry — it could happen at any time. I will still get my levels rechecked in two days just in case a miracle happens and the baby rebounds. If the levels drop or barely increase then I will stop my meds. I will have to get my levels checked weekly after that to make sure I’m not having an ectopic pregnancy.

So for now I am stuck in beta-level-checking purgatory.

I’m reading my Bible today and playing with Josh. He is such an incredible joy to have. Even through tears I cannot help but smile in response to his giggles and grins.

Thanks for continuing to pray. I will update you after my beta on Thursday.

“So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight.”

2 Corinthians 5:6-7

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PS Sorry for the abundance of typos lately. I guess that’s what happens when I’m rushing to finish a blog post on my phone late at night. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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13 Comments

Filed under FET, Pregnancy

13 responses to “Disappointing News

  1. Wishing you and your family the best of luck. Your little one’s outfit is adorable!

  2. I’m so sorry to read this. I truly hope there is a miracle in there yet still growing. I know it’s very hard to get this news even though you have Josh to snuggle on… it’s still very hard. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. So sorry to read this. I am praying for you sugars. Xo

  4. I’m so sorry. . . this is so hard. Praying for peace while also a little miracle.

  5. Katherine Owens

    Emily,
    I am also saddened by this news and keep praying for a miracle. Our God is good, and it’s so relieving to be able to trust him.
    Big hugs and much love!
    Katherine

    • Big hugs and much love to you too friend. I know you’ve been praying faithfully for this baby from the get-go. I’m sad but it’s not over yet. Either way I know Christ is our high priest who can sympathize with our struggles and who helps us get through them.

  6. So sorry you’re in beta hell right now, that royally sucks!! I just stumbled upon your blog via the keyword “ectopic” because I just had an ectopic pregnancy in August/September. I really hope this is not what’s going on with you. I wish you all the best.

  7. Sending much love to you right now!

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