I’m a planner. I love to think about the future and the different possibilities of what it may look like, and prepare for it. It’s pretty ridiculous to some people, and smart to others. It’s the way I like to function, if I can at all help it. Spontaneity is definitely not my thing (which is something I share at the risk of looking like a complete stick in the mud!). But it’s true. Thankfully, hubby doesn’t seem to mind too much as he is very analytical in nature.
Which is why, even though I am only 33 weeks along (at least I will be tomorrow–I like to round up), I am already considering the period between when I have the baby and when our next embryo transfer will take place. For most women who have given birth and breast feed, their periods don’t return until they stop breast feeding. But that is not always the case. I’ve heard of some women getting their periods just two months after giving birth, even though they are solely breast feeding their baby.
Although I have no idea what my body will do when the time comes, this is a concern of mine. If I am having a period, then I am risking getting another endometrioma and needing surgery. The very last possible time when I want to have to surgery is when I am caring for a newborn! Not only that, but surgery means more scar tissue and another rough go with pain if I ever get pregnant again.
I talked with hubby the other night about my concerns. I told him that one of my limited options was to take the “mini pill” (progesterone only) after I have the baby. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: So, I could possibly go on the mini pill after I have the baby.
Him: What’s the mini pill? That’s the same as birth control?
Me: Sort of, except without the estrogen.
Him: (Frowning now) I don’t know… even though you’ve had some mood swings being pregnant, it’s been really nice to have you off of birth control.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Well, you’re a whole lot less hostile when you’re not on birth control!
Me: (Stunned) Wow. Oh, wow… Okay, well, that’s something to definitely consider.
So we have some time to pray about these things. My husband doesn’t want a hostile wife, and I don’t want to be that wife! But I don’t want surgery either- and neither does he.
I’m realizing that sometimes life comes to this– there doesn’t appear to be any “great” options on the table and we must ask and trust the Lord through it. Actually, when it has come to dealing with endometriosis, it has seemed that there has never been any “great” options on the table. And yet, here I am– miraculously pregnant, in spite of stage 4 endometriosis, and after thinking several times that the best route for me to take was to have a hysterectomy. I can only thank the Lord for that, and remember how He has made beauty out of ashes in my life. I can trust Him for my future.
So there you have it. More insomniac 5 am ponderings from me. 🙂
On a completely new note, our fridge is fixed! Hubby was able to fix it with an inexpensive part. We are so thankful to the Lord for this! I am really enjoying not living out of ice chests anymore. I’m praying for a similar miracle for the leaking head gasket in our car. I would say that I don’t know for sure that it’s leaking, except for the fact that I can smell burning oil every time I get out of the car after driving it. Definitely not a good sign, but as a good friend reminded me the other day, anything is possible with our God.