Last week was a hectic week of putting together an adoption profile book, filling out final paperwork and preparing for our home visit (which will be next week). The adoption profile book was a LOT of work — I have to say that I am extremely thankful that I was a yearbook editor in high school! The book is the first thing the birth mother will look through to see if she thinks we might be a good fit for her baby, so we put a lot of effort into it to make it as much “like us” as possible. We’ll send several copies with of our profile book with our social worker when she comes to do the home inspection, and she’ll distribute them to the various offices affiliated with our adoption agency.
And just like that, we’ll be finished with this process and will start waiting for placement!
I have to be honest, the final chapters of this adoption process coming to a close pretty much snuck up on me. I haven’t let myself think about anything baby related for a really long time — for example, what kind of car seat to buy or what kind of diapers to use? It was always just too “premature” and I didn’t want to get myself wrapped up in that when we still had, say, a whole year to wait! But reality hit when I realized that in one week we would be ready for placement, and, as our social worker told us, it could take 2 days or a whole year before we get placed with a baby. On top of that, I was hearing that not everyone has a lot of time to prepare for the baby coming — some people get a call and have to head to the hospital right away!
The caveat with this process is that the birth mother has 10 days to change her mind about whether she wants to keep the baby or not. She has 10 days to sign away her rights, but once she’s signed and it’s filed with the State, there’s no going back. Which means that, until she signs, we’re going to be living on edge for a bit. Although it’s unusual for a birth mother to change her mind and decide not to sign, it’s going to be a strange time for us we we bond with our new baby all the while knowing that things could change.
So since our adoption won’t be finalized for up to 10 days, I formed a plan– a goal really, to have the things on hand now so that we could get through just one night with the baby and not have to go to the store a bunch of times. And yesterday I ventured out and bought my very first baby item — a diaper bag. And today my mom and I went shopping and bought some things we’ll be needing when the baby comes — diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, blankets, infant soap, a few outfits, etc. Everything is gender neutral and a very small quantity, as we don’t really know anything about the baby at this point, and I’d hate to buy too much of the wrong size.
It was a strange feeling as my mom and I put the baby items in the trunk of my car and walked on to another store today. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I was so excited that we have made it this far, and yet I couldn’t help but get all choked up with emotion as I realized that for the very first time, I wasn’t buying baby items for someone else’s baby. It was actually for my baby!
It’s a form of nesting, I suppose. As my mom said earlier, “it’s like being pregnant, only you don’t know if you’re one month along or 9 months along.” So we’ll be prepared in case we’re 9 months along. And if we’re only 1 month along… may the Lord grant us patience as we wait!
“Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation.” -Psalm 68:19