The Fringe of His Garment

I’m wondering: After we adopt, will I still have a sense of loss due to that fact that I can’t get pregnant? I highly suspect that the pain will be lessened, but will it disappear altogether? Will my heart still ache when friends announce to me their newly discovered pregnancies? Or will that twinge of sadness be gone?

The other day I was reading in the book of Mark and I came across the verse,

“They laid the sick in the market and implored Him that they might touch even the fringe of His garment. And as many as touched it were made well.” (Mark 6:56, esv)

How often I’ve wished that I had been there. To see Jesus in person for the first time — to actually see God in flesh! And to think, that by just touching the fringe of his garment, a seemingly benign move — He would have healed me of my endometriosis. The thought of being physically near my Savior and being healed completely exhilarates me.

There are days when I am simply annoyed by my endometriosis — the fact that it causes daily physical pain. Other days, the the annoyance goes much deeper and transforms into despair– and I must fight it with every shred of hope and trust that I have in the Lord.

It helps that we are making progress with our huge stack of adoption paperwork. It’s almost completed! There are several more steps to be taken, but we have almost made it past the first giant hurdle.

And yet I don’t want to go into adoption blindly thinking that it will “solve” all of my infertility woes. So I am asking for your help, dear reader. I would love to know your story, and what your thoughts are on this topic. Have you experienced complete freedom after adopting? Or does the pain of infertility still linger?

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Filed under Adoption, Endometriosis, Infertility

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